Since the moment I have landed in Cairo 6 weeks ago, I have been astonished by how people drive here. I have seen some crazy stuff in Peru last year but that was nowhere comparable to what it is here.

I then decided to investigate a bit about how Egyptians were learning to drive. I went to their local DMV and requested a written test to see what kind of questions people had to answer. I have the answers but I will let you first try to answer on your own to see how you would fair.

Without much further ado, here are some of the questions: 

1 – In which occasions is it OK to double line park? 

1. Never, it could create a traffic jam
2. Only to drop someone off
3. If you have paid a big enough baksheesh to the police officer seated on the sidewalk two meters away
4. When you cannot find a parking spot in less than 2 minutes and you cannot wait to get to your daily evening shesha

2 – What kind of other vehicles should you watch out for while driving your car? 

1. Donkey carts
2. Horse carts
3. Camels
4. All of the above

3 – What is the most important non-engine related feature in your car?

1. The horn
2. The headlights
3. The wipers
4. The seat belts

4 – Explain why?

5 – What is the maximum speed allowed in town?

1. 30 MPH
2. 50 MPH
3. As fast as the beaten up 30 years old Peugeot 504 can go
4. Who cares! Your speedometer does not work anyway (like the rest of the dashboard instruments).

6 – How many cars should be side by side on one lane?

1. 1
2. 2
3. As many as can fit
4. What is a lane?

7 – On the highway, if the two lanes are blocked by two slowest trucks. What should you do?

1. Slow down and wait for one to move out of the way
2. Honk the horn and flash your headlight until one of them move out of the way
3. Honk the horn as much as you can handle and make your way in between the two trucks

8 – What if you are in the previous situation and another slower vehicle is following option 3?

1. Slow down and wait for one to move out of the way
2. Slow down and wait until the 3rd vehicle completes passing the trucks before doing the same
3. Use the dirty emergency lane to take over the 3 vehicles at once

9 – When is it OK to take a one-way street in the wrong direction?

1. Never, it would be dangerous and could create a congestion
2. When you want to take the next street up traffic and it would take you 2 minutes more to go around otherwise
3. Only if you know the police officers in that street
4. When the street is congested and you don’t want to be like the other suckers that wait for the traffic to resume.
5. When you saw a free parking spot less than 500 meters up the street

10 – If a pedestrian is crossing the street in front of you, what should you do?

1. Slow down and stop if necessary. He/She is vulnerable while on the street
2. Keep the same speed, honk the horn and flash your headlights if at night. You can then assume they know you are going to pass 1 foot in front of him/her
3. Stop the car and insult him/her

11 – If the same pedestrian seems to hesitate to move forward or backward, what should you do?

1. Slow down and stop if necessary. He/She is vulnerable while on the street
2. Keep the same speed, honk the horn and flash your headlights if at night. You can then assume they know you are going to pass 1 foot in front of him/her
3. Speed up and drive straight without changing direction at all. If he/she is unable to make a decision fast, he/she does not deserve to survive. Survival of the fittest they call it.

12 – What should you do if you hit another car from behind?

1. Stop your car, make sure you are in a safe situation, check on your passengers, get out of the car and go check on the other car’s passengers
2. Get out of the car swearing, come toward the other driver, start insulting the bastard that did not move out of the way fast enough and maybe punch him in the face
3. Do like nothing happened and drive away

13 – What is the name and function of the black rubber band hanging from the sides of the driver and passenger seats?

1. I don’t see what you are talking about! 
2. It is a decoration that the previous owner installed. 
3. It is the thing you should set across your body whenever you get close to a police check
4. It is a seat belt, it helps protect your passengers and yourself in case of accidents.

14 – When should the headlights of your car be turned on?

1. I don’t see what you are talking about!
2. To flash another driver that seems to not have heard your ghetto blaster style horn that you already honked 3 times
3. To say hi to your friends at night
4. As soon it is dark in order to see in front of you and be noticed by pedestrians and other vehicles

15 – What is the best way to turn right at an intersection?

1. Get safely and respectfully to the rightmost lane, slow down, watch out for pedestrians and turn
2. Wait the last second, stay on the leftmost lane, stick your arm out the window and signal you are turning right, accelerate and turn right just in front of all the other cars while honking the horn feverishly (try to picture that!)

Alright, let me know your answers and I will let you know how you would fair driving in Egypt.